I’d like to tell you a quick story:

Once upon a time, a fictional patron came to a fictional circulation desk to pick up a fictional book.  As the fictional circulation assistant was checking this book out, the woman put a hand out to stop her, and asked, “Wait just a moment–have you read this book?”

“I have,” replied the fictional circulation assistant.  “It’s one of my favorites.”

“Good.  Then tell me–is it sad?”

The fictional circulation assistant stopped and looked up.  “Well…yes.”  She said slowly.  “But it’s not a tragedy.”

“Will I cry?”  Asked the fictional patron.  “I really don’t like crying at books.  Just tell me.  Tell me I can read it without worrying…”

Like so many good stories, this story is inspired by real events.  And I use it as an example of how a brave reader deals with book anxiety.

Book anxiety, as Lady Pole has mentioned, is very real.   It’s a condition that affects me, as well.  As a person who deals very frequently with issues of anxiety, I personally read to escape the world.  To meet and come to understand people in a way I can’t in The Real World, and to get out of my own skin for a little while, and air out my brain and my imagination.  The three of us work much better together afterwards, after the reading break

As a result, I really, really try to avoid books that I know are going to make me sad-cry.  For me, sad-crying at a book is not cathartic.  Struggle with the death of a character I have grown to love is not “cleansing”.  It’s traumatic.  When your escape route, the path down which you run when everything else is just too loud, too much, and too close, is full of tragedy, or loss, or sadness, it ceases to be an escape.  It becomes a trap.  And traps hurt.  The loss of a character with whom I have bonded is like an actual death to me, and, because reading is largely a solitary activity, I have to deal with that loss alone.  And that isn’t fun at all.

I see lists very often online about “53 Books That Will Definitely Make You Cry” or “10 Devastatingly Sad Books“.   Maybe you are one of those people who see those lists and click eagerly, ready with your box of tissues and your library card.  I am not one of those people.  I appreciate knowing that a particular title is sad, but I also appreciate knowing that I don’t have to read it, ever.

Like the patron in the story above, I very often ask for, or seek out “spoilers” to books; major plot points that give away a significant part of the story.  It’s not “cheating”, because I don’t want to read the book, and it’s not “lazy”, because I don’t want to put the effort into the book.  The truth is, I’m asking because I want to read the book; I just don’t want to come out at the end worse than when I went in.

Incidentally, this is one of the reasons I love romance novels.  I truly appreciate the guarantee implicit in the genre that neither of the protagonists will die, and that the ending will be a happy one for all involved.

In fact, in the story above, I think what the fictional patron did is really quite brave.  Asking ahead about a book shows a good deal of self-awareness and self-care.  If there were certain foods that caused you a problem, you would ask about them in a restaurant, right?  If there was a fabric that irritated your skin, you would check the tag before buying a shirt.  Many people check the website Does the Dog Die?, a site which tells you whether any pets are hurt or die in a film, in order to decide whether it’s something they want to go see, knowing that such a scene would upset them.  Checking out the plot and contents of a book is very much the same for many of us, and there isn’t a comprehensive system in place to let us know.

In the end, the point I am trying to make is that we all read differently, for different reasons, and with the hope of different results.  And that is great–and also why there are so many books on the shelves today.  You have the right to read whichever of those books you want.  And you have the right to ask in advance if the book you have chosen will make you cry.  And you can also know that we will do our best to let you know ahead of time, in whatever level of detail you might like or need.